Hi all,
Year 11 GCSE Speaking Exams start on Monday. Coincidentally, this is also the day they start work building the new extension to the science labs, the resurfacing of the Sports Hall car park and they’ll be cutting the grass on the football pitches, too.
Thanks x

Hi all,
Ofsted are in the area. Tina’s friend, Gina, who works in Tesco, says there were some blokes in there yesterday, who looked like they may have been Ofsted inspectors. We expect everyone in school tomorrow, getting ready for inspection, just in case she’s right.
Thanks x

Hi all,
Since we introduced the SLT supervised Central Detention System in the Main Hall, after-school detentions have increased by 800%. We have therefore decided to scrap it with immediate effect. They are your problem again now.
Thanks x

Hi all,
During the last Book Look, we noticed that some pupils’ books were a lot thinner than others. Before term starts, you will number the pages in all your pupils’ books. You. Most kids can’t be trusted to do it properly and it will take up valuable teaching time.
Thanks x

Coming soon…

Hi all,
Please remember that Monday’s CPD starts at 6:30am. The earlier we start the sooner we finish and we want everybody done and off the premises before 8pm.
Thanks x

Hi all,
The decorators have been in The Academy this week, painting all of the doors to a shiny gloss finish. Unfortunately, now they don’t open, so if you could all bring a crowbar with you on Monday, we’d really appreciate it.
Thanks x

Hi all,
You all need to be in tomorrow to teach GCSE Revision Sessions. We just sent a note saying anyone who doesn’t turn up every day for the rest of the week, will not be allowed to go to Prom. It will be chaos. They won’t want to be there. We may need extra chairs.
Thanks x

Hi all,
Mr Johnson, our Head of PE, is sick of you all making fun of his subject and implying that he and his staff are immature and not very bright. He has barricaded himself into his Crash Mat Fort and says he will not be coming out until you all say you’re sorry.
Thanks x

Hi all,
We have decided that, to try and get all of our staff fit, we are signing you all up to the Steps Challenge. Each of you will have a target of 15000 steps a day. A healthy academy is a happy academy. Also we’re not repairing the lift in the main building.
Thanks x

Hi all,
You may have seen the “artwork” which appeared on The Academy Sports Hall wall overnight. Well-respected art experts say it may be a Banksy but we’re convinced it’s either a Chantelle or a Jayden. Any information will be gratefully received.
Thanks x

Hi all,
Starting next week, we need departments not just to produce long term and medium term plans but extremely long term, really long term, fairly long term, nmediumish and medium rare plans. You will be sent templates in pdf format this afternoon, at around seven pm.
Thanks x

Hi all,
Don’t forget that all long and medium term plans for the next academic year are due in tomorrow. Even though we’ll change the format 5 or 6 times before July, they still must be completed, even for subjects we’ve already decided to scrap. We may change our minds.
Thanks x

Hi all,
The most recent book check has shown that not all pupils are using the Official Academy Approved Writing Equipment. All pupils should be using a Montblanc Pix Black Rollerball in their neat books. These are available from our official suppliers from £275.
Thanks x

Hi all,
Congratulations Mr Johnson on achieving NPQWSBS. He is one of only 5 teachers in the country to be awarded the National Professional Qualification in Wearing Shiny Blue Suits. This puts him in good stead for a Headship in a couple of years and he’s still only 23.
Thanks x

Hi all,
We have had a lot of fly tipping on Academy premises recently. Even though we abhor this type of behaviour, we have managed to acquire some comfy chairs for the staff room and now have a new kitchen in the Food Tech area.
Thanks x

Hi all,
As we have not been able to replace our Chinese teacher, all of our Mandarin GCSE students will have to study a different language from next week. They will all join the Spanish or French groups. Don’t worry, they’ll soon pick it up.
Thanks x

Hi all,
Please remember that, when taking pupils off-site, all staff must wear their Willows Official Hi Viz jacket. If you are taking 9Z off-site, you must collect a Mercia School jacket from reception.
Thanks x

Hi all,
Due to another flouncing hissy fit about workload, we’re looking for a new Head of Geography. We were going to promote one of the other teachers but them we realised who they were. If you know of anyone, get them to contact us. Coloured pencils will be provided.
Thanks x

Hi all,
The GCSE catch up lessons seem to be going well. There have been morning and afternoon sessions in core and Ebacc subjects. Staff have been pleased with the quality of the work produced and both the students have been working really hard.
Thanks x