Countryside traffic jam innit. Dirty bastards. 🙄

Dog walk on the beach in Cumbria. Not one dog taking a blind bit of notice!

My dad was on fine form today. Looking just like Tom! He said my name. First time in over a year. Oooh I’m in bits. ❤️❤️❤️

Saw the classic sex-worker-meets-controlling-old-pervert-but-it’s-fine-cos-he’s-rich musical ‘Pretty Woman’. We couldn’t find anything to pose with so stayed on message by flashing our knockers.

Aaaaaahhh just been looking at some of the brilliant Molly fan art and fan edits. Oh she's a beautiful lass, but more importantly she's kind and clever and funny. We aaaaaall ❤️Molly

Lovely walk in the park with this pair of twats. Big Walter stayed home cos he can’t be trusted in polite society.

one of us looks really good in this. won't say which.

I keep posting thirst pics of myself wearing my new outside while aaaaaall dragged up. This is a no make-up off to the gym one. Look at those daft flamingo legs. Strong though. Could probably pick up a fridge freezer with them thighs. 🦩

13.09.24 - get your ears ready.⁠

Could not be more delighted with these new ‘Wallace and Gromit’ characters. bbc.co.uk/news/articles/…

Had a surprising & ridiculous rom-com moment. 😍 Bloody hope the bloke in question doesn’t read this or my attempt at ‘playing it cool’ is totally fucked. 😬 sarahsimons.substack.com/p/jaded-old-tr…

the Shut Up I'm Talking podcast is out today. open.spotify.com/show/1PMhTwtK7… check us out on spotify as me may reach #1. that would be brilliant. thanks everyone. much love.

it’s time youtu.be/oaYfZ0tgqLk?fe…

I keep buying stuff in tans and deep blonde tones which I’ve never done before. Only just realised IT’S WALTER COLOUR! ❤️ ps. I know I’ve not ironed my linens. Sadly I can’t be arsed.

In Doing New Things news: I'm learning to ride horses! First lesson booked. I've gone total Animal level of excitement, which I'll have to get a grip of or I'll quite lidddderally scare the horses.

What if you're going to die soon? open.substack.com/pub/sarahsimon…

episode 2 out now 🫶

Car's broken down so I'm walking everywhere & running out of hoodies - not my usual dress code so don't have many. Out n about wearing Tom's merch today! Had rucksack on hiding extreme Innit-ness on the back. The merch is AWESOME - it's just a bit weird wearing it being his mum😮