Everything Gucci? It is at best a bra and panty set I found on the side of the highway, my dude

OH SHIT OH FUCK

Invisalign but for my labia

what your favorite water brand says about you

Can confirm

I need to lie down for 3 to 5 years

Sciatica is a beautiful name for a baby

This would 100% work on me if I were a pheasant

Turned my heating pad up too high and now my house smells like burning plastic due to all of my cosmetic surgery

Whenever this guy is in a movie, someone is about to get fucked ALL the way up

🚨NEW RECENTLY DISCOVERED SILLY LITTLE GUY ALERT🚨

Grilling in my Save The Manatee bucket hat. Manatees would eat burgers if they could

Look who showed up on my personal Facebook homepage. 😂 Missy Martinez

Just got a tee stuck in my urethra

I’ve told 15 women to square their shoulders

I am getting ready to shove *so* many balls up my ass at Top Golf right now

*The four horsemen of the apocalypse arrive*

Me: OMG CAN I PET THEM

In case you’re having a bad day, please look at these Bilbies! The Bilby is a desert burrowing marsupial native to Australia. They are omnivores, have poor eye sight but great hearing! All around silly little guys #NatureTimeWithMissy