don’t worry guys, Joe Biden definitely has the charisma and energy to win against a right wing martyr who is also still alive

im not doing those yoga videos with my parents they can’t make me besides i already do all of that stuff while im asleep anyways

does anybody know what i want for dinner

*coworker showing you a picture of their newborn* Nice, nice. What is that?

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all

I need you guys to stop getting married and having kids. Seriously it’s stressing me the fuck out. Idk if I’m jealous or it’s just creepy but like stop. Thank you

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The single worst thing about Trump to me will always be how much he's changed people. I've watched friends and relatives become entirely new, worse people in the wake of his political rise. Like it's not merely that he's a terrible guy, it's that he's ruined people.

IDK i think when an election has many many innocent people fearing for their lives or contemplating suicide something might be very very wrong

idk how to tell u this but 51% of the country voting for trump is bigger than .4% voting for jill stein. you are surrounded by fascists not third party traitors.

you can learn a lot by lying on the floor

Fear not, anxious citizens. For I will defeat Donald Trump by pointing out his hypocrisy and mocking his ludicrous behavior and appearance.

normalize double texting but it’s just the exact same text as before this time in all caps

it has come to my attention that a striking number of you are completely unfamiliar with hyperbole

got something of a Cinderella situation going on

it is OKAY to be 26 and SCARED OF DATING and best friends with YOUR PARENTS