Out of all the mock drafters never to win a mock competition, I might be the best in the world.

I say that knowing how ridiculous it sounds.

I like what the Chiefs have done in the draft.

Rd 1: Xavier Worthy might give the team some of the downfield explosiveness it had with Tyreek Hill.

Rd 2: Kingsley Suamataia should compete for the LT role.

Rd 3: Jared Wiley is a potential Travis Kelce successor.

When you hear Crash Test Dummies, what movie do you think of?

Nothing screams all in like Rico Dowdle, Deuce Vaughn, Royce Freeman, and the possibility of Ezekiel Elliott.

“Xavier Legette can do it all. Not just a receiver.”

In 5 years, dude turned 16 carries into 12 yards.

I demand a recount. I don't belong in this group.

The Raiders don't need to draft a QB when they can always sign Tom Brady.

Lowkey non-zero chance Ben Sinnott has a better career than Brock Bowers. <Log off>

That Roman Wilson pick has my attention.

If you told me that a football player's name was 'Tip Reiman' and asked me to guess his position, I would've said TE.

Steelers and Colts just crushed it.

Updating my NFL depth charts.

Putting Penix as ATL QB2 made me want to start drinking.

This is fun. We're having a good time.

If on social media you ever see me spell 'pass catcher' as 'pass-catcher' ...

Or use 'play-caller' instead of 'playcaller' ...

Or fail to use an Oxford comma where there could be one ...

Just know that I'm no longer in control of my account.

Prediction: It won’t take Penix nearly as long to get the starting job as people think.

Of course, all my previous predictions on Penix have been trash.

Already anticipating that next year’s QB prospect hype will be insufferable.

Still alive, still unwell.

I like the Bills trading out of Round 1 if they don’t want Xavier Worthy.

If they had taken Adonai Mitchell at 28 and Chiefs taken Worthy at 32, no one would be saying the Bills made a mistake.

Now they can take Mitchell at 33 while accumulating extra draft capital.

Smart.

Imagine a world in which last night the Vikings traded up to No. 5 and drafted Michael Penix.

Afterwards, reporters would've asked them why they did it, and they would've said, 'We knew the Falcons wanted him at No. 8.'

That world is closer to the one we live in than the world