British Emigrants who DO NOT want to leave the UK are actually letting down the other emigrants in the world, who committed, and did it - they earned their badge with action, not words.

British Emigrants should get out, now, or call themselves something else! 😡

#EmigrantsOut

Is it time for all the emigrants to leave the UK?

#EmigrantsOut

The Household Cavalry have one job.

Horses.

If they keep doing this sort of thing, they'll have to get motorbikes or something.

In fact, walk. Walk because you can't manage your horses!

At the scene of nearly every tragedy, disaster and horror, for the past hundred years, has been the BBC.

Seriously, has nobody ever wondered if they're actually the ones doing it?

If I was at the scene of every house fire, burglary and murder in Carlisle? 🤔🤨😒

#ArrestTheBBC

Do you think BBC News (UK), Sky News, CNN, and other rolling news outlets, love it when lots of people are killed, in terrible ways?

#TVNPTSD

If there were bears running through central London, they'd have been shot.

Why did those horses get away with it?

Bearism.

That's crazy dangerous. I obviously wouldn't shoot anything, but if you're armed police and they're running at people? Eek!

bbc.co.uk/news/live/uk-e…

Build a small town that's also a migrant processing centre. Let it have jobs, accommodation and all the things we have, and allow those with valid claims to join us, and those who are sent back have the money they earned, to help them?

Have a ferry instead of small boats?

If you're going to cross the English Channel in a small boat, make sure there are no BBC News cameras there, or they'll stalk you - especially if one of you dies.

They love filming people who later die.

Look at how much screen time they gave the Queen and Thatcher?

Dorty fecker! 😡

bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northe…

Harold Lloyd, without his glasses... looks like the great-grandfather of @VanCityReynolds.

Dude has the looks for modern Hollywood, too.

If Lloyd was a vampire and...

Wait a minute? Is Wrexham AFC owned by a couple of vampires?

Sad news for Lloyds.

Only £1.6bn profit this quarter (£1.269bn after tax).

How can banks make this much money, without actually carrying out heists on other banks? Is that what they do, behind the scenes? Constantly rob each other? I think maybe yes?

bbc.co.uk/news/business-…

I hope this is okay to say, but Olly Alexander looks like the gayest gay in the gaydom, and I don't even like #Eurovision , but the dude is perfect.

He's not resting his career on it. He's clearly a smart guy and approaching it with a great deal of enthusiasm.

How is Floella Benjamin younger than me, now? 😕

I'm not even checking her real age, because even if it's the truth, it's simultaneously some biological lie.

She looks amazing!

bbc.co.uk/news/entertain…

There's a guy on my estate who has two really out of control, unruly dogs, and as soon as they see me, they run up to me with their teeth bared, then one of them flops down at my feet and I can't move until I give them belly rubs.

The cats woke me up.

I said: 'I don't know the Latin, sorry!'

I have no idea what that was in response to.

Then they nibbled my fingers and mewed, and convinced me it was at least 7:30am.

Tricksters! Now they have meaty yumyums and I have tiredness. 😒

They are 'honouring themselves'.

And by that, I mean, they look like such wankers... 😞

bbc.co.uk/news/uk-688823…

Two amazing things I just discovered.

I knew about golf, but spacedudes on the Moon also threw a javelin. I never knew this! Two sports have been committed, on the Moon, not one.

INCREDIBLY... these AMERICAN CITIZENS didn't infect the Moon with an American Football. 🤯

The BBC are getting excited about this, but it makes me cringe a lot.

Dexter, Robbie Williams, an accountant and Ross, from Friends?

Why? 🤔