Henpecked Hal
@HenpeckedHal
Welcome to parenthood. Yes, it's possible to have the worst day of your life before 6:00 AM. https://t.co/jv3VQ5CW4O
ID:3332077285
https://twitter.com/i/events/1166021317033787392?s=21&t=JXHY6eu-LEfmvD8NSWr33A 25-08-2015 01:06:17
36,7K Tweets
136,0K Followers
1,9K Following
Simon Holland
@simoncholland
My wife bought low sodium bacon and now I know what it means when someone says they love you but aren’t IN LOVE with you.
Dadman Walking
@dadmann_walking
introvert. Husband. Dad of 3. bourbon fund: Venmo- Shane83 My links! https://t.co/X1R5q5AVST seen in @Buzzfeed @Menshumor @HuffPostParents @cheezbur
The Dad
@thedad
Welcome to the club. 🔥 https://t.co/E3irT7D7mM 🏆 https://t.co/EFPhC0SEeE 🎮 @thedadgaming
Jessie
@mommajessiec
*awkward silence* Mom to four, wife to one. Like I am to most things, I came here late too.
Rodney Lacroix
@RodLacroix
Disappointing people since 1968. | EVERYTHING: https://t.co/JN2RmmKWfK | Latest Tweets: https://t.co/BuhDfbbFkq | Top Tweets: https://t.co/3B9KMSYvlv
Lady Lawya
@Parkerlawyer
divorce lawyer | mom to a bazillion kids | https://t.co/0FDtG6xK4t | please send all dms to @funderlaw | https://t.co/t7dCbYmwgu
Adam
@adamgreattweet
Resident physician as seen on Buzzfeed and TV, RTd by Barack Obama. He/Him
Lil Bit 🌈
@LizerReal
Wife of a guy. Mother to spawns. Sugar glider in my bra. Parenting cautionary tale. (she/her)
Uncle Duke
@UncleDuke1969
Does this look infected?
That Mom Tho
@mom_tho
contributor @scarymommy @romper [email protected] Tweets: https://t.co/5zWeBtUUx6
Marcy G
@BunAndLeggings
parenthood is like a box of chocolates... it's expensive
Sarcastic Mommy
@sarcasticmommy4
I put my symptoms into WebMD & it turns out I just have kids. https://t.co/m6TcvYNqfm
NicholasG
@Dad_At_Law
Father of girls, Husband of wife, Coach of kids. Protagonist for the People in court, yet to win an argument at home. *ᵗʷᵉᵉᵗˢ ᵃʳᵉ ⁿᵒᵗ ˡᵉᵍᵃˡ ᵒᵖⁱⁿⁱᵒⁿˢ*
Real Life Mommy
@reallifemommy3
Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...
Kevin The Dad
@kevinthedad
Husband. Dad. Co-creator of 2 cool kids. I write fun stories about the shenanigans I experience as a parent!
MumInBits
@MumInBits
Can be found speaking with a British accent
I Hide From My Kids
@IHideFromMyKids
freelance writer | content creator | someone once told me I was funny, for a mom | featured on BuzzFeed, Today Parents, HuffPost & more | Read my tweets👇
mom mom mom mom mom
@notmythirdrodeo
https://t.co/lKTwNPcAGY @momsoverhere on IG. Mommin’ the best I can with low standards. Featured in @HuffPost, @Buzzfeed, @Today_Parents and more.
sixfootcandy
@sixfootcandy
Loves animals more than most people. https://t.co/bTlLzDrFl4
Dan Regan
@DanRegan_Comedy
Comedian//Comedy Writer Sometimes I write funny stuff so keep checking. https://t.co/QwGtdvzVph
Jelly Santos
@MrsJellySantos
Radio Personality* Content Curator* Morning Show Producer for Saucy And Friends In The Morning on SparkFM⚡️ [email protected]
Jane
@Irish__Jane
Welcome to the Island of Misfit Toys!
Tea Berry-Blue
@teaberryblue
She/They. King Features/@comicskingdom lead comic nerd. Popeye’s boss. @flamecon steering. Pro-creator, pro-fandom. Queer. Opinions mine. 🐝♠️
Mojahed Fudailat
@MojahedFudailat
3d artist - short film and animation maker https://t.co/w85zyEg0JH
Conan O'Brien
@ConanOBrien
The voice of the people. Sorry, people.
snarkandlemons
@snarkandlemons
When life gives you 🍋’s it’s okay to bitch about it. User of twitter to make my IG pretty🤷♀️ Follow on IG ➡️ @snarkandlemons
Bokksu Market
@bokksumarket
Bokksu Market delivers your favorite Asian grocery items like Japanese snacks, Korean instant noodles, and Chinese chili crisp right to your door.
Los Angeles Unified
@LASchools
Official account for Los Angeles Unified. The District will not respond publicly to incidents reported on websites, social media or other online platforms.
JoAnne Yarrow
@jojo_row
Film/TV Editor. Adventurer. Lover of tiny things. Current Angeleno. Former Texan by way of Colorado, Australia, and Colombia.
Craig Robinson
@MrCraigRobinson
It's your boy....Daryl, Matheson, Bouncer, Hot Tub, .MPEG, etc.
Images That Make You Feel Pain
@ManMilk2
Enjoy the pain — DM submissions🥛 +18 only.
Merriam-Webster
@MerriamWebster
noun | a reference source containing words alphabetically arranged along with information about their forms, pronunciations, functions, and etymologies
Praise The Cameraman
@praisethecamera
Here you will find content by good camera operators who keep a proper recording angle, have good control & perception of keeping the object(s) well in frame.
Life of Mom
@lifeofmomuncut
Wife | Mom | Storyteller | Human Creator @lucyriles | For a RT use #lifeofmom https://t.co/HQ8RWswQ6N https://t.co/aT5aydZGF5 | Author 🔗https://t.co/yp2IGaBFQG
Cheezburger
@Cheezburger
All your funny in one place. Get our amazing feline newsletter https://t.co/rRvXHFcOHa Check out our awesome merch https://t.co/mHyMlDg3SS
flappy 🐥
@funflaps
I like your flaps. Best:https://t.co/XnPxwhxO7L Archive:https://t.co/99UDI9gc5P
Jairaj
@jairajs89
Co-founder/CTO @SubstackInc
Cam Harless
@hamcarless
Disciple of the Slain Lamb. Husband and Father. Former Host of The Mad Ones. Murdered the WaPo once. Enemy of Sean Astin. Anti-Political. Anti-Babylon.
Royce Gracie
@realroyce
3 Time UFC Tournament Champion. UFC Hall of Famer. @BellatorMMA Brand Embassador https://t.co/12kWVFZNPX
Birdie Girl
@BirdiePanda
space-based human menagerie
BruntGPT
@chrismbrunt
creator & host of PODRE; debut poetry WAR AT HOME (Saturnalia Books, Oct. 2024)
Seth Rogen
@Sethrogen
I... Tweet!!!!!!
Drew Barrymore
@DrewBarrymore
Dad Legion
@dad_legion
We are dad. We are legion.
Big Cat
@BarstoolBigCat
Dan Katz. Chicago @barstoolsports. Email - chicagotips@barstoolsports. @PardonMyTake podcast w/ @PFTCommenter.
Pat Casey 🎅
@Pat_Kc
Screenwriter (@SonicMovie 1, 2, and 3 @ViolentNight, #HeyStopStabbingMe, #ItTakesTwo, #GolanTheInsatiable).
Lydia Schoch is on Mastodon 🦣
@TorontoLydia
Sci-fi author who loves rabbits and weightlifting. 💖💜💙 Come hang out with me at https://t.co/OSZVjndycU. (she/her)
Esther Crawford ✨
@esthercrawford
on sabbatical: traveling, cooking, sleeping in. angel investor (Sequoia scout). ex product @twitter. prev ceo @squad (acq'd by @twitter in ‘20). add me on IG.
valerie bertinelli
@Wolfiesmom
indulge 🤍 https://t.co/g6zgskzXU8 https://t.co/5QoJQzzMR4
Lucy Huber
@clhubes
editor @mcsweeneys Mother of: 👦🏼👶🏼🐈⬛🐈🐠🐌 Writer? Hungry. Tired.
Goodreads
@goodreads
The largest site for readers and book recommendations. Find new books, recommend books, track your reading, join book clubs, win advanced copies, and much more!
Brian Box Brown
@boxbrown
New book THE HE-MAN EFFECT available now! Cartoonist, New York Times Best Seller, Eisner Winner Legalization Nation https://t.co/FbttawLILF
Babe Parker 📝
@BabeParker
Producer (@MTV #Vidiots, @GirlCode, @VH1, @FuseTV) Writer (@womenshealthmag / @someecards / Teacher / Comedian
Chris Illuminati
@chrisilluminati
Yes, it's my real last name • 5x author • rasslin' fan • I like to lift heavy shit
CARU
@caru
catalyst
Amy McCready
@AmyMcCreadyPPS
Founder of Positive Parenting Solutions, Media Expert, Speaker, Mom of 2 and author of The Me, Me, Me, Epidemic & If I Have to Tell You One More Time...
Dwayne Johnson
@TheRock
founder of stuff
Jake Paul
@jakepaul
Founder @mostvpromotions & @betr Weekly Show @bsjakepaul Founder @antifundvc
Lucas Mann
@LucasWMann
On the feelings beat. Books: CAPTIVE AUDIENCE, LORD FEAR, CLASS A Co-Owner: Riffraff Bookstore and Bar Professor @umassd
Matthew Miller
@matthewamiller
Personal account. Mostly hibernating.
Goldman Sachs
@GoldmanSachs
We are Goldman Sachs. Follow us for the latest in global and local economic progress, firm news, and thought leadership. https://t.co/3FRVF3sdcC
ANAÏS NINJA
@michikoconuts
MORE PERSNICKETY THAN EVER https://t.co/9tHvo7JT1X
That Fella Kev
@ThatFellaKev
On a short twitter hiatus. Least crap tweets here ➡️ https://t.co/GKSn4tTc08
President Trump 45 Archived
@POTUS45
This is an archive of a Trump Administration account, maintained by the National Archives and Records Administration.
ablogwasborn
@ablogwasborn
Stay-at-home-mom | Mother of boys | Sometimes witty | A little sarcastic | More comedic takes on IG
House Republicans
@HouseGOP
We are the Republican Conference in the United States House of Representatives 🇺🇸
Darcy T. Mailgrrrl
@SetDarcyFree
This is @kinky_horror’s backup acct for #TheLastDriveIn, jic I start getting jailed again. Using it to #PromoteHorror & help spread some #MutantFam ❤️!
@AlexNevilAgain
@AlexNevilAgain
I am Elon Musk. You don’t need to parody me. I’m obviously perfectly capable of doing it myself.
Pregnancy & Newborn
@pnmag
•Take what you need, mama: uncensored motherhood, laughter, solidarity, support. •Helping moms through pregnancy, postpartum, & beyond for 15+ years
Maxwell Jacob Friedman™️
@The_MJF