Mr data, would it be possible for you to disengage our gas inhibitors—perhaps i could be smoking on the shit that got whitney houston

the bus takes longer to arrive for you because of your impure will and spoiled heart

I would hit the other adults because of everything going on at home

Jerry seinfeld pump faked me at a diner in 2010. i tripped and fell over somebody's breakfast. by the time i looked back up he was staring at me from the parking lot doing dunking motions. i didn't have a gun on me at the time because i was married

my sexual proclivities really began upon realizing that optimus could go from truck to man, then man, back to truck, and always he was lacking this real penis,

Calvin and Hobbes is the only fondly remembered (mainstream newspaper) comic strip from the 80s/90s in large part because Watterson was miles ahead of his contemporaries as an inker.

if you can’t jack off to every single character in a video game it not only means that the game is bad, but also that the developers are plotting to exterminate the white race

Here's what it was like growin' up as a kid nobody really liked that much—in comic form

im on a seesaw diet. i see food and (in the past tense) i saw it

to me Canada is the perfect country. there are no jobs, no houses, and a lot of poor people. You just can't beat that

The Sliming of Jesse James by the Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Awards Host Robert Ford

can i say something..

don't listen to anybody who says we're gonna make it. that guy secretly made it already. listen to me. we're not gonna make it. i have to go back to school and so do you and it's still going to be over. the figs on our fig tree have dried up and i'm spitting out these shitty figs

every artistic endeavour is returning to its rightful place of being something a gay rich person does when they're too stupid to run the family business

on soulseek i've got several folders full of 20th century intelligent cuban dance music. there is a sob story, involving the jamaicans, and dub, i say something about parallelisms, refusing to elaborate. in truth, this is my friend's intelligent dance music. he isn't even cuban