Right! Listen here! My mate Alistair Barrie is doing a show tonight Alphabetti Theatre and he’s a Ledge! Go and see him!

You know things must be absolutely awful for these asylum seekers, risking their lives, desperate to get to a country with this heartless Tory government in charge. #compassion #AsylumSeekers

Is Chris Wood the forward equivalent of Allardyce? Get him in when you want to stay up. Best of luck Chris Wood, hope Forest stay up due to loads of penalties #nufc

got approached to go on piers morgan’s tv show today

A group of women all bought their husbands the same shirt and didn’t tell them...🤣

Just finished watching this 36min video with Darren Eales during his time at Atlanta...comes across incredibly well. youtube.com/watch?v=6DY2sS… #nufc #darreneales

No wonder you’re called Hastings Direct it’s a fucking battle to deal with you!

Any chance of a retweet. Great Comedy line-up in Newcastle this Saturday. Featuring Terry Alderton, Paul Sinha 'Sinnerman', Lauren Pattison, George Zach Mc: John Smith. Tickets only £15!
northernstage.co.uk/whats-on/grinn…

Alreet lovelies! Paul 'Sinnerman' Sinha is heading to Newcastle on Saturday 2nd July for this fantastic gig Northern Stage
There's only about 50 tix left, grab 'em while you can.
northernstage.co.uk/whats-on/grinn…
@paulsinha Grinning Idiot Lauren Pattison Terry Alderton 😀😀😀

Any chance of a retweet. Great Comedy line-up in Newcastle this Saturday. Featuring Terry Alderton, Paul Sinha 'Sinnerman', Lauren Pattison, George Zach Mc: John Smith. Tickets only £15!
northernstage.co.uk/whats-on/grinn…

Please Retweet. Great line up in Newcastle on Saturday Featuring Terry Alderton, Paul Sinha 'Sinnerman', Lauren Pattison, George Zach Mc: John Smith. Tickets only £15!
northernstage.co.uk/whats-on/grinn…

During WW2, soldiers could mail a voice message to loved ones on a super flimsy 78. My dad found one that his dad sent his mom but he has no way to play it, so it's up to me to transfer it to mp3. So I got a mic, added some crackle, and I'm about to record some absolute FILTH.

Today's joke:
Me and my missus have entered the IVF lottery, it's a monthly draw, thousand of pounds a ticket, it's usually a treble roll over, we're using machine Lancelot and set of balls two, the jackpot is a lifetime of worry.
#nufc #newcastle #comedy
northernstage.co.uk/Event/grinning…

Today's joke
I've just set-up a nano technology business...no job too small.
#nufc #newcastle #comedy
northernstage.co.uk/Event/grinning…

With the fashion of Botox, fillers and ridiculously inflated lips it’s never been easier to get a more lifelike inflatable woman!

I've just signed the Tax Justice UK petition calling on Rishi Sunak & Boris Johnson to close the tax loopholes that allow the mega-rich to dodge paying their fair share, please sign and retweet. #PandoraPapers you.38degrees.org.uk/petitions/pand… via 38 Degrees

We’re too old for children! My wife was in the bathroom doing a pregnancy test, I heard her shout “oh no!”All I could think was, I hope you’ve just pissed on your fingers.

This was fun!

My wife said that if she died she would want me to meet somebody else, that’s good, because I wouldn’t want to go to her funeral on my own! instagram.com/p/COaLxnmn48x/…