We has just had high drama in mine garden. Jezebel catches a Rook wiv a broken wing. OMD all the Rooks in the werld came to save their pal. Jezebel wos dive bombed but she just runs off wiv the burd. I finx it must have been a zombie. I runs into mine howse PDQ.

This morning I runs in mine field. Then I snoopervise Mummy gardening, then I has a snooze, then I dus lunchtime pawtrol, then I has #sunyaylunch . I reely needs a snoozle then pals. Now I has jus finished evening pawtrol, checking the horses. Today wos a gud day. #dogsoftwitter

Has yous Mummy made yous maid of honor dress Lilly Karen & Lilly ? Today is Dudders Ollie, Dudley, Bailey and Mylo, The Doodledogs & Daisy's DaisyBoo 🐾🇬🇧 big day. I is all reddy

Jezebel is in big trubel. Mummy & her bestest boi (me) stripped the bed ( I dusnt fink we needed to cos it smelled luverly of me, but Mummy insisted). Wen we goes to put the clean bedding on, Jezebel is fast asleep on the bed & the mattress is covered in muddy paw prints.

Went there & back again for lunchtime pawtrol. Met some noo neighbours, but then the storm clouds was a gathering. So we headed home for a cuppa tea & biskits. #ZSHQ #dogsoftwitter #dogsofx

Bertie! Luk wot pops up on Mummy's newsreel! Bertie Lakeland

Bertie the Lakeland terrier becomes an online celebrity bbc.com/news/av/uk-eng…

Where's Jezebel??? #CatsOfTwitter #CatsOfX

Hoppity Zombies! Hoppity Zombies! #ZSHQ

Morning frens, got cort in the rain on pawtrol this morning, so Mummy puts my robe on me to keep me warm. To be honest, I not too keen on this robe ,but Mummy seems to fink it spiffing! #dogsoftwitter #dogsofx #ZSHQ

Today I goes to Hamsterly Forest & I pee'd on a Gruffolo

Today I has blocked 9 account. They talking bout bits of coins & blok chains. I not stoopid, I knows yous needs whole coins to buy treets. I shows them how to blok pals!!

Today it raining & I dusnt like rain, so I going to spend the day snoozling. #dogsoftwitter #dogsofx

Mummy is shamed of me. At top of lane I is allowed to run off lead cos no cars & all fields. I finds a deded intact hoppity zombie. I finx this a gud trophy & wud luk great in mine howse. I piks it up & runs for home. I dusnt wait wen Mummy says to. Parently this norty. #ZSHQ

So, last night me & Mummy has the discussion we has every year at this time. I borks & borks at prickly fings & tells her they zombies. She says they is hedgiehogs & is our frens. Mummy is very stoopid & never lissens to me. #ZSHQ

Pals, I finds a dedded hoppity zombie in the muddy field. I carries it all the way home & gives it to Mummy. I finx she very appy cos she puts it in a safe place. It has a lid on it so no hoppity zombie going to escape from there. 'Proud ears' #ZSHQ

Mummy's fren Aunty Sybil came. She a vettyhairylady. She drinks mine coffee & eats mine chocolate biskits (which I is not allowed), then spends all morning fat shaming me. Very Rood! #dogsoftwitter #dogsofx

Mummy is having a rant. She wonts to know what the obsession wiv all & sundry calling her by her first name. Delivery drivers, coffee shop peoples, receptionists. She says she dusnt know these hoos & her first name is for hoos she knows not strangers. She can be a real grouch.

Stand down zombiesquad. Fanx for yous help. Jezebel is back. She comes home last night at 9pm large as life & twice as sassy! #ZSHQ

🚨 Calling all zombiesquad, calling all zombiesquad. Missing sailor 🚨 Mine Jezebel goes out on pawtrol yesterday afternoon & dusnt return. I has borked for her last night, this morning & just now, but no Jezebel. I is worrit zombies have her. APB issued!!! #ZSHQ

It's Wednesday & I has had such a week so far. Furst hoobruv & littlest hoo came. Then sadly mine cockerel Magic Mike casts off his mortal coil. Then Mummy abandons me for the dentist . Then I goes to werk & sees the chilren. Today I cleans out the chikins. Phew!