Thank you to everyone who signed up and logged into my cam girl session where I role played as a dowdy librarian with a saucy side who wrote offensive comments in the margins of he most fingered paperbacks on the shelves

It could be a lucrative sideline when I retire

Cazza 💋

I interviewed Bindi, this afternoon and she's starting first thing

She's dogging...sorry gardening on a morning and doing my dirty laundry on afternoons

She can't do evenings as she's a truck driver in her second job

She quite fancies running as an MP for the Greens

Cazza 💋

This soya milk had a kick. Anna told me that the Russians had stopped supplying her with 70% proof vodka but I swear that this milk had a similar strength and it was clear too but it can't be contraband as it's in a budget soya milk carton

I had to be carried home

Cazza 💋

Catch me performing Kirsty McColl's New England with new lyrics

I don't want to change the world
I'm not looking for a New England
I'm just looking for another grift

One night only - 26th April - Madeleine Kay will be performing Nothing Compares 2EU too. How wonderful

Cazza 💋

The cast of Josephine and the Amazing Transicolour Dream Coat took time out from their packed out shows, to canvass with me this morning

We didn't have any diversity in the group so we hired Mai Chai from the local Thai Sauna to help out

Everyone adored me

Cazza 💋

We heard that Angie was looking for a new party and she asked us to pop over. Sadly we knocked at the wrong door

She was next door. I wonder why she was registered here.

I blame Bezza. She got the tip off

Cazza 💋

My heart goes out to Angie

When I was arrested and under investigation for stealing a packet of Linda McCartney Tofu Twizzlers in Asda, I protested my innocence because I wouldn't be seen dead in Asda. The middle classes shop at Waitrose and that remained my defence

Cazza 💋

Darlings

It was lovely to have Angie visit us last night at Gindependent. She was having a break from her taxing lifestyle

She did a great karaoke session, singing Our House by Madness, This Ole House by Shakey & Little Lies by Fleetwood Mac

Fabulous Evening

Cazza 💋

I was marvellous on Channel 4 News last night, discussing Angie Rayner's tax saga

I was quite clear to Krishnan Leftie Guru that the best way to avoid capital gains is to put the rent money in your back pocket & to register your property empire in Monaco or the Caymens

Cazza 💋

Darlings

I found this Ex-Worker at the bus stop, muttering on about Skeleton's in her closet. I've asked her which house the Skeletons are in as there's rumours flying about in the Sunday rags about her manky taste in home furnishings

Is the Skeleton, Nick Brown ?

Cazza 💋

I've taken a Saturday job on the beauty counter at John Lewis. They said that their brand wasn't woke enough and so they were delighted when I said I would put a few shifts in to steer them in the right direction

My first job was to remove all the oil based lipsticks

Cazza 💋

Morning

I have just had a full English Vegan with the Epsom Campaign Group for Diversity and Inclusion

We have a packed day ahead, where we'll be devising policies that combat racism in the countryside and put a halt to Christian values and replace them with Islam

Cazza 💋

Darlings, I hope you had a fabulous Easter & didn't eat too many vegan chocolate eggs

Today, I'm helping spread the message about postal vote harvesting

It's so simple - Here's what to do
Register
Sign it
Leave the boxes blank
Post in our collection van
We do the rest

Cazza 💋

If you are visiting the sea front today, please bring proof of your remoan status as it now has EU Protected Status

Example Forms of Proof
• Twitter posts by you of Empty Shelves
• A photo of your ballot for remain from 2016
• Criminal Conviction for JSO protests

Cazza 💋

I met with Pauline & her wife Brian who are appalled at stress of running their lorry on the roads when Brian can't get any kitten heels or secretary style skirts that are suitable to wear in such a big vehicle

I've told them that I'll bring a Bill to the commons

Cazza 💋

Off up to Londonistan to march for Gaza with Jezza

I am speaking at the march about the importance of solidarity with the brotherhood and I will have a collection jar to cover Bezza's (soon to be) lost deposit in Brighton

See you all there. I know you're all excited

Cazza 💋

Mindy is out canvassing near to the industrial estate for Bezza

I've asked her not to smoke when handing out flyers and not to leave any in payphones or public toilets. It doesn't portray the correct image that our party strives to achieve

Do honk if you see her

Cazza 💋

Me, Babestation Alex & Brenda are just having a quick fag behind the bus, before this mornings Cult Sermon starts at the Brighton Metropolitan Community Church of Our Saviour Dale Vince

Anna's providing communion wine, but she's still waiting on her Sainsburys delivery

Cazza 💋

It was time

We had no one to look after her
Meals on Wheels stopped their vegan range
No one would vote for her

So I've dropped Molly off at a convent in West Somerset to take a vow of chastity & silence for the rest of her days

She thinks it's a health farm weekend

Cazza 💋

People call us bong eyed, ginger bearded, middle class, posh kids, bumming around waiting for Daddy to die, so we can inherit the house, the log cabin in the French Alps and the villa in Tuscany

We need to fight against discrimination and stereotyping of our candidates

Cazza 💋