“What gin do you have?”
“Bombay, Hendricks or Tanqueray”
“Well I’m from Africa and want to try something new and we have all of those so I want a different one”
Oh okay let me just pull the secret rare bottle of gin out of my ass then

Couple at the bar was like “how old do you think Taylor Swift is? 20s right” babe a large part of her brand is the fact she was born in 1989

He’s been at Taco Bell for over 40 minutes like is he coming at all or no

Being a woman is so funny

I personally think it should be a lawsuit to say Taco Bell is an 18 min delivery and have the driver sit at the restaurant for 20 min with no end in sight

Twice this week I’ve been in Ubers and they changed the music from what they were listening to over to Tate McRae once I got in??

Okay but seriously where do single people live these days without having to work 80 hours a week?

Omg they doubled down

“I’ll take the 7oz” ariel

Tbh NBC Sports Boston is the funniest insta page out there

Pritch rebounds being the only thing that hit is so funny to me

There he is!!!

So sick of being attacked like this

Bash brothers coded

Does the Green Line really need THIS many stops?? Like why are there two BU stops within 0.1 mile of each other

I have to work tonight but I should be cut at first pitch and I’m thinking about irrationally buying Celtics tickets and hauling over there after because I have an addiction to them

Don’t really feel like paying rent today think I’m going to become a squatter instead