Hello Partridge, you're through to the static home...

Uphill runs become power-sappingly mundane while overtaking National Express coaches can become a long drawn-out affair! Not my words Carol, the words of Top Gear magazine!

Liz Truss will be doing this in a few months time...

What's this little sink here? Get rid of it!

Well there's no need for that!!! Just because I've got a shit table?

That is the best Valentines day I've had in eight years!

I could pretend to be your wife...

What's this little sink here? Get rid of it!

I could pretend to be your wife...

Michael, bit of a job for you - unfortunately some vandals have sworn all over my car again!

Lynn, hand me the apple pie and remove yourself from the theatre of conflict... Go stand by the Yakults!!!

That is the best Valentines day I've had in eight years!

Lynn, hand me the apple pie and remove yourself from the theatre of conflict... Go stand by the Yakults!!!

One of the benefits of global warming and international terrorism is that more and more people are holidaying in England - I'll drink to that, cheers!

One of the benefits of global warming and international terrorism is that more and more people are holidaying in England - I'll drink to that, cheers!

Michael, bit of a job for you - unfortunately some vandals have sworn all over my car again!

Alright guys! See the match?

Now Martin couldn't let the weekend go by without a little song...

Sorry?

Alright guys! See the match?