when i was a child, every time my dad bought something he got change back

then one day after saving up some allowance, i went to buy something and paid exact change, and threw a tantrum when i didn't get anything back lol

Btw researching this post I learned something disturbing

Reminds me of the time Indiana House unanimously voted on pi being equal to exactly 3.2

throwback to when i invaded those canadian rightwing caravan protests spaces and convinced this guy that five guys names were being changed to five nonbinaries

Listing all the hardware features they crammed in unfortunately doesn't make it usable

Moving to Austin in the vain hope that my tweets can be read to Elon in court during jury selection

This country has sterilized the civil rights movement to the point that Black liberals condemn the same direct actions they exploit for votes.

No idea who this is

what are you going to do, stab me?

white person ordering a PBR and a shot of whiskey at the dive bar with a pool table with a straight face

Why does MrBeast have more registered lobbyists in North Carolina than Airbnb, Tesla, and Meta

The ACABYLON BEE system (🧵):

Achieve greatness
Complete what you start (1/?)

(the uk)

ME: oh vampire king we ask that you cease feeding on your subjects

(2 weeks later)

ME: i have received a letter from the vampire king's lawyers and it was false of me to imply the vampire king does any feeding of any kind, least of all on his subjects, whom he loves

I opened this up and it's just blank???

My kids speak to me

JK Rowling was 39 years old in 2004